Are You Ready to Belong?

Are You Ready to Belong?
An edited excerpt from Why Good People Do Bad Things. Our overidentification with "I" is the source of all our trauma, pain, and self-sabotage. So what do we do about it?

Last year, I was presenting at a conference and sat in on a talk by Dr. Dean Ornish, Clinical Professor of Medicine at the University of California , San Francisco . He showed a slide which illustrated an important concept that he had learned from one of his mentors.

The slide had the following two words written on it: Illness ...Wellness
He asked the audience to reflect on the difference between these two words and then, after a brief pause, he moved to the next slide.
The two words were written again, only the "I" in illness and the "we" in wellness were circled:Illness Wellness
Here it was right in front of me -- the problem and the solution.
When we are identified solely with the "I," when we are viewing life through the limited perspective of our often wounded individual selves, we only care about ourselves. We literally do not perceive any choices other than the ones that we believe will serve our individual emotional or physical needs -- no matter how destructive or unhealthy they might be.

To the extent that we are preoccupied with making it, with looking good, with fitting in, succeeding, belonging, winning, or trying to get what we think should be ours, we lock ourselves into the small cage of our individual self, driving us to destroy our dreams and become our own worst enemy.
But when we begin to understand that our "I" consciousness, our ego, is only a portion of who we are, we open ourselves up to merging with the "we," which is what I call the collective heart. "We" is the part of us that is connected to all that is, and to every other human being. It's the part of us that is willing to make a higher choice, even when it doesn't feel good to our individual "I."
For us to be truly healthy and whole, we must respond to a higher calling. And when we are willing to open up and explore "we" consciousness; when we begin to look for ways to serve, connect, and support others; when we see how our actions can benefit all concerned and commit ourselves to living in partnership with the greater whole, we return to our natural truest authentic state.
We return to wellness and regain the ability to live meaningful, passion-filled lives, follow the guidance of our higher selves, take right action, and make better choices.This week, keep track of the times you are operating from the "I."
Write down at least five times you catch yourself looking through the lens of the wounded ego. List the thoughts, the feelings, the behaviors, and the internal dialogues of your individual self. Then practice stepping into the "We."
Take at least five actions this week that connect you to the greater whole. As you make those choices to step out of the "I" and into the "We," notice how you feel about yourself. Write about what you see.
With love and blessings,
SUNNY